When I got pregnant with Benjamin I was excited. I thought I would slip very easily into the mothering role…after all, I helped raise my younger brother & sister. I did diaper changes, rocked them to sleep, & read stories…this would be easy! I remember within the first week of being home from the hospital realizing how wrong I was. As much as I thought I did at the time with Drew & Trina…it was nothing compared to being a mom. I really struggled with that for a while after Benjamin was born. I was on call 24/7…I couldn’t just change the diaper & hand him off to Mommy…I was Mommy! Well, I soon came to grips with the loss of my freedom…knowing that no matter what I did I had to consider him & what he needed (even if I had a night off!). It was definitely nice to have had the “baby experience” with Andrew & Trina…just not the same.
The last week has been a reminder of all of that. Benjamin has been sick a lot since school started…off & on with a cough…a runny nose… It all kind of came to a head on Wednesday night last week…he got a fever & was up a bunch that night. No worries…I kept him home from school…he got some extra sleep Thursday (& so did I)…and he started to get better. I can deal with that.
Friday night we went to the orchestra…on the way there Manda & Kirby started coughing & having runny noses…bad time to get sick! OK, well we made it through the performance with lots of cuddles. Saturday…everyone sleeps in…ahhhh. M&K still have cold symptoms, but otherwise fine. Saturday night…Kirby wakes up with a fever…not feeling good at all…up half the night with him.
Stayed home with the kids from church on Sunday…didn’t want to pass this on. By noon they were back to just cold symptoms…wonderful mother-in-law agrees to keep them so we can go on a date…even though they’re sick. They both had fevers that night. On the way home from our date Sunday night my throat started to feel a little sore…uh oh…hope I can sleep it off. Got to sleep in Monday morning (holiday) before picking up the kids…still woke up with a sore throat though. Nothing else really wrong…just a sore throat that turned into a cough through the day Monday.
Monday night I got the chills…shaking uncontrollably…not fun. Got to bed on time. No sooner cuddled up to Ben & started getting warm than Manda comes in. I don’t remember all the details after that. Manda & Kirby were each up at least twice…taking turns. Cuddle with Ben, start to get warm…kid awake…shiver my way to their room, crawl in their bed to cuddle them, just start to get warm, head back to my bed…and the cycle would start again. It was 2am before they were both sleeping & I finally got to go to sleep…at which point my fever broke I think…I started sweating like crazy.
Considering the night, Tuesday was rather uneventful. I felt good as long as I could avoid coughing…that hurt like crazy. Otherwise I was fine & it seemed the same for the kids. Ben had started coughing, but otherwise felt fine. He had his first hockey game of the season last night. It was an early game & I planned to stay up till he got home…talk to him for a few minutes & then head to bed. Well, he got home a bit later than expected…with the chills…same as I had the night before…shaking uncontrollably. He had a bath to try & warm up, then fed him supper (he doesn’t eat supper before hockey games), & had him comfortable on the couch…took his temp…fever. He was hurting too bad to go to bed right away so I just sat with him a while…got some advil. Eventually we headed to bed…1:45. Sure enough, just as I got comfortable & started to doze, Kirby woke up. Ugh…Lord I don’t have the strength for any more! By the time I got him back to bed it was 2:30…then I laid awake till 3:30 as Ben tossed & turned. Eventually his fever broke & he fell asleep (so did I)…only to have the alarm go at 6:30…have to get Benjamin to school! I heard the first alarm & slept through the rest…poor Benjamin was late for school.
I feel worse today than I did yesterday…it’s no surprise I guess. Sleep helps you get better…lack of sleep does the opposite. Yet, I will continue on…this is my job…I’m a mom…24/7. God knows…He’ll help me through it. For now, I’m heading to the school to walk a lap with Benjamin…because I love him & I know it matters to him!