A Wednesday with Heidi

I'm thankful for…this date 6 years ago. Unexpected trip to Red Deer, high blood pressure, nasty gas & all…I’m so grateful for the safe arrival of our Amanda Ruth Werdal. I’m also thankful for my mom on this day…Manda shares a birthday with her. Rather appropriate I think…after all, Manda wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for my momJ. It’s fun to see the special bond the 2 of them have developed!

I'm listening to…quiet…

What’s happening with the kids? Well, after a nasty week & a half, I think they’re all on the way to being healthy. Manda’s still loving gymnastics. Benjamin had PT interviews on Monday & “passed” with flying colors. It was fun to see the interaction between him & his teachers…and also for Ben to be able to be there. Kirby is just Kirby…the endearing troublemaker…makes me pull my hair out one minute & makes me laugh the next. The boys started hockey on Friday. Kirby was giddy with excitement for 2 days (from the moment he found out)…until he stepped on the ice. Then I think he realized that it was going to be no easy task learning to skate. He still had fun, but it was a bit of a struggle. He has a practice on Saturday that Ben will take him to & go on the ice with him, so hopefully that’ll give him a boost. Benjamin fit right back in doing great. He’s enjoying knowing a few more of the kids from school.

What’s new with Ben & I? Ben is healthy again after a rather crazy couple of days. He’s also going absolutely crazy with work right now. Of course we’re very thankful for the work…but we’re down to Ben & 2 guys…with enough work for about 6 guys…so it’s rather stressful.

I ended up having 6 nights in a row with only 3 or 4 hours of sleep…was brutal…but I made it through…although I’m still coughing a bit now. The first full night of sleep I got after all that…I woke up & was trying to figure out who had woken me up…which kid was in bed…who was crying…if Ben had a fever again…then I looked at the clock & it was morning! A very pleasant surprise indeedJ. I’m swamped right now. Homeschooling while having Benjamin in school is not going so well. Everything revolves around Benjamin’s schedule & it’s really hard. I have 3 sets of pictures to try & get edited…plus the school ones I took of the kids. Plus bookwork is behind & there are always the tasks on the to do list that just never even get thought of. Someday…(will it ever come?)

What’s happening around the house? Trina came & cleaned floors with me today!!! Feels amazing…they were driving me crazy! I also cooked a pumpkin today so I’ll be able to make pumpkin pie, muffins…to my hearts contentJ. It cost me $3 to get a huge pumpkin that’ll make oodles of pies & muffins…whereas buying canned pumpkin would have cost $4 just for 2 dozen muffins or 2 pies…I love getting deals!

What's happening in my kitchen? The birthday girl/boy always gets to pick supper in our house…Manda’s choice for tonight was broccoli cheese soup, whole wheat biscuits, & pineapple, cantaloupe & strawberries for dessert…girl after my heartJ.

I am missing…my dad. I know…again it seems strange. I had a chance to catch up with my mom, Drew & Trina some this week which was really nice. On Saturday the kids & I went to the Lacombe corn maze with them & also to watch Drew run in provincials for cross country. My dad was there too…I just didn’t get much chance to talk to him. I’ve seen him a couple of times in the last week actually…but I guess what I love doing with him…hanging out, playing games, watching movies, chatting…I haven’t gotten to do.

We had a blast on Saturday though. Andrew placed 58^th in Alberta (senior boys)…pretty darn good if you ask me!!! Plus our school brought home the 2A provincial banner which was super cool. The kids loved had fun going through the corn maze even though it was starting to get dark. Then my mom took the younger 2 to the play area while the rest of us had a race through the other phases of the maze. We had done phase 1 altogether. Two years ago when we did it, my dad & Trina beat Drew & I for both phases 2 & 3. This time Benjamin wanted to come with us all. My dad & Trina won phase 3, but Drew & I kicked their butts on phase 2. Benjamin had a hoot. When we were still altogether in phase 1 he made a comment that “This is so much fun Mommy…the only thing that would make it funner is if it got harder & harder!” Well, our races in the dark were harderJ. We ended the evening going out for supper at Wendy’s. The kids slept well on the way homeJ.

OK so after writing that I think I’m out to lunch…I had lots of time to spend with my dad on Saturday…I guess it’s just the talk time I’m missing…or maybe I’m just still catching up from not seeing him for so long…anyways…all it really says is that I like to spend time with my dad (& all my family) & I miss him…that’s not bad right? So Papa…if you read this…we need to plan a game night soon!! I love youJ.

I am praying for…wisdom. I’m so swamped right now…but I don’t know if there’s something I can drop or should drop. I went through this last fall too & was able to get rid of a bunch of little things I was doing which helped, but now I feel like I’m at bare bones, yet I’m doing too much. Lord please give me wisdom in knowing how to be the wife & mom you want me to be…and if there’s anything I’m doing that I need to let go. Help me to balance all the aspects of life wisely & say no to things I need to let go.

What’s God been doing in my heart? Selfishness vs. self care. I’ve been pondering & I’m curious to know what you think the difference is between selfishness & taking care of yourself. I know we need to think about others before ourselves, but at the same time we need to take care of ourselves physically, mentally, spiritually, & emotionally. So where’s the line? Any verses to back it up? Like I said, I’m pondering & I’d love to hear your thoughts.

My dearest Manda...

I have tried since the kids were born to write them a letter every year on or around their birthday…talking about how they’ve changed in the last year & letting them know how much we love them. I’ve missed a number of years already, but I thought it would be really neat for them to be able to read them 15 years from now, so I will do them when I canJ. Anyways…since I’ve started the blog, I thought I’d write it on here so you can snoopJ.

My dearest Manda,

6 years old…I can’t believe it. For some reason I don’t remember it hitting me this hard when Benjamin turned 6…maybe my memory is just failing me. You’ve become so grown up!! My favorite right now is to listen to you sing along with “green Veggie Tales”…and to hear you talk on the phone with Grandma B. It’s so fun to hear you express yourself. God made you so special!!!

Last spring you played soccer…it was the natural thing to do…you wanted to because Benji was. You didn’t enjoy it very much though & for the last 6 months or so I’ve been on a mission to find something that can be just yours…where you don’t have to be compared to the boys…you can just be yourself. Well, I think we’ve found it! You’ve been doing gymnastics for 6 weeks now & you’re LOVING it! It’s been amazing to see you come out of your shell & do things on your own. The first week you were really nervous about me leaving even 10 minutes into the class. The second week I could leave only once the teacher came to take you in. After that is history…you’ve relaxed more & more & look forward to it so much…not even looking back when I leave. I can’t wait till the middle of November when I can stay & watch you!!

Your favorite thing right now is babies…real ones…Kaitlyn, who’s not so much of a baby anymore…your new cousin Bowie…Austin’s little brother Wyatt…any baby you come across…and if you can’t see one of those, then you’ll play with your babies…Kaitlyn & Pinky. It makes me a little sad sometimes. It would be so fun to have a new baby right now when you could help & love them to bits. At the same time…I’m thoroughly enjoying having all 3 of you be old enough that we can go do more things together…so we’ll have to be content with cuddling & helping with other people’s babiesJ. You’re going to be an amazing mom one day!

It’s taken me a while to figure it out…but you love to help me with laundry, help in the kitchen, or even cleaning. For a long time I would brush you off because I thought by allowing you to do that I was making you do extra chores the boys weren’t doing. I finally clued in & figured out that you LOVE helping…so I’m working at finding jobs for you to do more often. I love the way your face lights up when you can help meJ.

No matter what anyone tells you Manda, always remember how much God loves you! He has made you for such a special purpose…I can’t wait to see what He does in your life!

We love you so, so much!!!

Love, Mommy & Daddy

Poem...

I received this in my inbox a few days ago...I needed the reminder… I was shocked, confused, bewildered As I entered Heaven's door, Not by the beauty of it all, Nor the lights or its decor. But it was the folks in Heaven Who made me sputter and gasp-- The thieves, the liars, the sinners, The alcoholics and the trash. There stood the kid from seventh grade Who swiped my lunch money twice. Next to him was my old neighbor Who never said anything nice. Herb, who I always thought Was rotting away in hell, Was sitting pretty on cloud nine, Looking incredibly well.

I nudged Jesus, 'What's the deal?
I would love to hear Your take.
How'd all these sinners get up here?
God must've made a mistake.
'And why's everyone so quiet,
So somber - give me a clue.'
'Hush, child,' He said, 'they're all in shock.
No one thought they'd be seeing you.'

JUDGE NOT!!
Remember...Just going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in your garage makes you a car ..
Every saint has a PAST... Every sinner has a FUTURE! Now it's your turn... Share this
poem.

Moms...on call 24/7

When I got pregnant with Benjamin I was excited. I thought I would slip very easily into the mothering role…after all, I helped raise my younger brother & sister. I did diaper changes, rocked them to sleep, & read stories…this would be easy! I remember within the first week of being home from the hospital realizing how wrong I was. As much as I thought I did at the time with Drew & Trina…it was nothing compared to being a mom. I really struggled with that for a while after Benjamin was born. I was on call 24/7…I couldn’t just change the diaper & hand him off to Mommy…I was Mommy! Well, I soon came to grips with the loss of my freedom…knowing that no matter what I did I had to consider him & what he needed (even if I had a night off!). It was definitely nice to have had the “baby experience” with Andrew & Trina…just not the same.

The last week has been a reminder of all of that. Benjamin has been sick a lot since school started…off & on with a cough…a runny nose… It all kind of came to a head on Wednesday night last week…he got a fever & was up a bunch that night. No worries…I kept him home from school…he got some extra sleep Thursday (& so did I)…and he started to get better. I can deal with that.

Friday night we went to the orchestra…on the way there Manda & Kirby started coughing & having runny noses…bad time to get sick! OK, well we made it through the performance with lots of cuddles. Saturday…everyone sleeps in…ahhhh. M&K still have cold symptoms, but otherwise fine. Saturday night…Kirby wakes up with a fever…not feeling good at all…up half the night with him.

Stayed home with the kids from church on Sunday…didn’t want to pass this on. By noon they were back to just cold symptoms…wonderful mother-in-law agrees to keep them so we can go on a date…even though they’re sick. They both had fevers that night. On the way home from our date Sunday night my throat started to feel a little sore…uh oh…hope I can sleep it off. Got to sleep in Monday morning (holiday) before picking up the kids…still woke up with a sore throat though. Nothing else really wrong…just a sore throat that turned into a cough through the day Monday.

Monday night I got the chills…shaking uncontrollably…not fun. Got to bed on time. No sooner cuddled up to Ben & started getting warm than Manda comes in. I don’t remember all the details after that. Manda & Kirby were each up at least twice…taking turns. Cuddle with Ben, start to get warm…kid awake…shiver my way to their room, crawl in their bed to cuddle them, just start to get warm, head back to my bed…and the cycle would start again. It was 2am before they were both sleeping & I finally got to go to sleep…at which point my fever broke I think…I started sweating like crazy.

Considering the night, Tuesday was rather uneventful. I felt good as long as I could avoid coughing…that hurt like crazy. Otherwise I was fine & it seemed the same for the kids. Ben had started coughing, but otherwise felt fine. He had his first hockey game of the season last night. It was an early game & I planned to stay up till he got home…talk to him for a few minutes & then head to bed. Well, he got home a bit later than expected…with the chills…same as I had the night before…shaking uncontrollably. He had a bath to try & warm up, then fed him supper (he doesn’t eat supper before hockey games), & had him comfortable on the couch…took his temp…fever. He was hurting too bad to go to bed right away so I just sat with him a while…got some advil. Eventually we headed to bed…1:45. Sure enough, just as I got comfortable & started to doze, Kirby woke up. Ugh…Lord I don’t have the strength for any more! By the time I got him back to bed it was 2:30…then I laid awake till 3:30 as Ben tossed & turned. Eventually his fever broke & he fell asleep (so did I)…only to have the alarm go at 6:30…have to get Benjamin to school! I heard the first alarm & slept through the rest…poor Benjamin was late for school.

I feel worse today than I did yesterday…it’s no surprise I guess. Sleep helps you get better…lack of sleep does the opposite. Yet, I will continue on…this is my job…I’m a mom…24/7. God knows…He’ll help me through it. For now, I’m heading to the school to walk a lap with Benjamin…because I love him & I know it matters to him!

A Tuesday with Heidi

I'm thankful for…being able to finally meet my new nephew on Sunday & that he’s home from the hospital! Also that Ben & I got to go on a date…and that I have a mother-in-law who was willing to take the kids even when they were sick because she knew I needed to get away. Thanks Mom!

What’s happening with the kids? Sick, sick, sick. Benjamin has been sick nearly constantly since school started which has not been fun. It got a bit worse last week & I kept him home one day to get some rest. Since then he seems to be improving. Manda & Kirby were fine until Friday. Now they have the bug too. On Friday we went to see the Calgary Philharmonic Orchestra perform “Bugs Bunny on Broadway”. It was a bit of a stretch for Manda & Kirby because they had just gotten sick…it was late…and long…but overall they enjoyed it. It was a fun way to introduce them to the orchestra. Benjamin absolutely loved it & thought it was so cool that the orchestra could play the exact music that he hears every time he watches Bugs Bunny (this fact was kind of lost on M&K).

What’s new with Ben & I? We got to go on a date! It was wonderful to get away on Sunday…been way too long! Ben has lots of work right now…and one less guy to do it with, so he’ll be busy. He also plays his first hockey game tonight which he’s super excited aboutJ. As far as me…well, when we got home from our date on Sunday night I started to feel a bit of a sore throat coming on…it got worse & worse through the day yesterday. This is the first time I’ve been sick in a long time…which I’m thankful for…but it’s still not fun…especially while trying to take care of 2 sick kids! Other than that it’s pretty much just the normal…mom, wife, Kid’s Rock, bookkeeper…

What’s happening around the house? The chaos is driving me crazy. I just get one project done…clothes taken out to the shed…and another shows up…I now have 3 hockey bags to trip over. I wish I could have a weekend with the house to myself to get caught up on all the things that I never get time to do because they’re not top priority.

What's happening in my kitchen? Well, I was going to write this blog yesterday & totally forgot…so I’ll write yesterday’s supper…it was more interestingJ. We’ll be doing Thanksgiving with Ben’s family in a couple of weeks, but I wanted to cook something a little bit special to make it at least feel like Thanksgiving. We had farmer sausage & applesauce, mashed potatoes & gravy, sweet potatoes, creamed corn, & pumpkin pie with whipping cream. Mmmmm…it was good! I’ve been thoroughly enjoying being able to bake again. We now have apple crisp in the fridge & a pumpkin pie…I never make dessert this much! Sometime this week I plan to start making some muffins & cookies.

I am missing…Alexis, Jemma & Noah…friends for the kids. We have never connected with a family the same as we did with the Elliott’s last summer. Our kids miss their kid’s so much. We’ll be driving down the road & completely out of the blue Manda will say, “Mommy I want to see Lexis, Jemma & Noah again!” Manda & Kirby just don’t understand the whole thing with how far away they are & how long they’re goneL. In the last couple weeks I’ve been starting to plan Manda & Benjamin’s birthdays…and I so wish that I could invite Alexis, Jemma, & Noah…it won’t be the same without them! Love you guys!!

I am praying for…all of us to be healthy soon…especially Benjamin as he’s trying to learn despite constantly feeling under the weather..

What’s God been doing in my heart? Well, I had to stay home from church with sick kids this week. I HATE staying home from church. Sunday mornings are my restart time. I leave all the junk behind from the week before & start fresh. I love singing as a body of believers & being encouraged by Pastor Kent’s sermons. Often when I have to stay home I’ll get quite down & depressed by the time Ben gets home from church…I was able to avoid that this week. I still didn’t want to be at home, but I enjoyed the time I had with the kids. We played a game together, listened to music, & read stories. Thanks Lord for changing my attitude Sunday. Please help the rest of the week to go smoothly even though I didn’t get that “reset”.

Homeschool vs. Public

“Mommy, I’m starting to wish I was still homeschooling.”

Those words rocked my world last week. I’ve been struggling enough with this transition, but have always been thankful that at least Benjamin is enjoying school. Now how do I make it through this year? I know there are pros & cons to both homeschooling & public school. I know them…not just from hearing, but by experience. I have experienced the pros…of homeschooling…the freedom, the flexibility, the joy of seeing my kids play together…versus public…the relief of having one less to teach this year, the joy of seeing him get along with his peers & bring home new ideas. I’ve also experienced the cons…of homeschooling…the stress of planning & never getting a break…versus public…a tired child, always being rushed, no more spontenaity, the ache when he says how much he misses playing with Manda & Kirby & missing the day to day life lessons.

It’s been a struggle for me since day 1, but I firmly believe that God has us here for a reason this year. As far as next year…I have no idea. For now though, I will help Benjamin see the positives & remind myself of them often. We will get through this year…and be better for it…with God’s help. Thank you Lord that I can trust that you guided us in this school decision…and that you will be with us through it. Please help us all…the kids included…to know your peace about this even though it hasn’t been the easiest thing. Help us to be open to learn what it is you have to teach us through this. Help Benjamin to be a light for you to his classmates, his teachers & all the others he comes in contact with. Give us wisdom when the time comes to make decisions about next year.

A Monday with Heidi...finally:)

Well, I haven’t been very good about blogging this fall, but I’m trying to get back into it. I came across a blog format online that I really like because it breaks things down a little. I like the format I’m using, I just can’t seem to give short answers…so it takes a while to blog…therefore I avoid it because I don’t have time. So…I’m going to combine the 2 & we’ll see what happens…more headings, but less in each oneJ.

I'm thankful for…a house for Trevor & Beckie!! Last time I wrote I said I was praying for them. In about than 2 weeks (if I’m remembering right…) they were able to buy a home & be moving in! God is good!!! I’m also so thankful for the safe arrival of our new baby nephew, Bowie Orion Werdal. He was born at 34 weeks, weighing 4 lbs. 8 oz.

I'm listening to…Manda & Kirby playing together. It’s been hard lately to hear just the 2 of them…Benjamin misses playing with them so much!

What’s happening with the kids? Manda has had 3 gymnastics practices now & is LOVING it!!! It’s been so fun to see her come out of her shell & enjoy something that’s just hers…no comparison to the boys…doesn’t matter how anyone else is doing…she just glows every time I pick her upJ. I’ve been thoroughly enjoying going to the school every day at lunch to do the kilometer club with Benjamin. We get to help him earn popsicle sticks for his class (we usually do 2 km x 3 of us, gives him 6 extra sticks toward their class total)…it creates a structure for Manda to walk (one thing on her program)…but most of all, to be able to see Benjamin in the middle of the day. It means an extra trip in the middle of the day, but it’s so worth it to be able to hang out with him for half an hour. Kirby has always had a temper & it’s something we work on all the time. Ben & I talked about it a little while back though & made a game plan. It’s been amazing to see the difference in him in just a month or so. He still has a temper, but he’s learning how to respond & it’s really neat to see!

What’s new with Ben & I? Ben’s been busy working which we’re very thankful for. Winter is coming much too quickly for our liking…we only just got working & haven’t caught up from last winter yet. I’ve been busy planning Kid’s Rock (the kid’s program at our church), homeschooling, driving Benjamin back & forth, doing bookwork, & lately, taking pictures. I hadn’t taken pictures in a long time & now in the last few weeks have done 2 sets of baby pictures, family pictures, school pictures, & have another set of family ones to do…plus our own family! It’s been fun to take them again…but the editing time is always hard to find.

Right now we’re working on planning a date. Ben & I made a plan a while back to go on a date once a month to help keep us sane. With Ben suddenly working so much, Benjamin starting school, me starting homeschool & Kid’s Rock…it all happened at once & we went from having lots of time together to very little. Well it’s been at least 2 ½ months…neither of us can remember when the last one was. I’m working at planning a date, but am finding it tough. With Benjamin in school we’re limited to Friday or Saturday nights…Friday nights are family night…Saturdays we don’t like being out late (tired for church in the morning). Hmmm…we’ll figure something out…and soonJ!

What’s happening around the house? Cleanliness & chaos!! I have so many things to catch up which is more & more discouraging…but extremely encouraging has been the kids’ chore routine. They each have 2 chores to do each day…and 2 additional ones for the weekend. As long as we’re home & they get those done…my bathrooms stay clean all the time…the dishwasher is unloaded & loaded…garbages are done…toys are picked up & the dining room is vacuumed! The only thing I have to figure out still is how to work washing floors into the systemJ.

What's happening in my kitchen? Some kind of chicken for supper tonight…but I’m especially excited to get my oven fixed today!! It’s been about 9 months since I’ve had a working oven & I can’t wait to bake again! I just hope he shows up…he had originally told me the part would be in weeks ago…so I’ll believe it when he shows upJ.

I am missing…my family. Seems strange…they only live 5 minutes away, but my dad has been working in Lethbridge for the majority of the time since about June…so my mom & Drew & Trina have spent a lot of time going back & forth with him too. They’re home now for a bit so I’m hoping we can get together soon & catch up!

I am praying for…Byron, Kyla, Braydon, & Bowie. Praying for strength for the family as Kyla is staying in the city & Byron is working here with Ben. Praying that Bowie can go home soon!

What’s God been doing in my heart? Pastor Kent’s sermon yesterday about Christ in us really hit home. Now I need to apply it. God isn’t just supposed to be number 1 in my priorities, but a part of each of my priorities. In my relationship with Ben, God is #1; in my relationship with the kids, God is #1; in my relationships with family, God is #1. Jesus help me not to push you out of certain areas of my life. Help me to make you #1 in every area of my life!