A Humbling Lesson

I’ve had a LOT of blog posts running through my head lately.  Some about what we’ve been up to about family...but more about things I’ve been thinking about...things I’ve been working through...struggles I’ve been having...that kind of thing.  I can’t do them all in one day.  And quite honestly, some will probably never happen, but I wanted to start with this story from last Sunday.

Amanda & I headed out shortly after church to go to my good friend, Kim’s baby shower!  Baby showers have become something that Amanda & I almost always do together.  I needed to pick up a few things in Red Deer afterward since we’d be really close & we decided to combine it all & do Amanda’s special night at the same time.  

We were thrilled to meet Makaio at the shower...

And I was very happy to catch up with a couple of friends from highschool...Kim (Makaio’s mom) & Ida!

After picking up what we needed, Manda wanted to go to Edo Japan for supper.  Yes it’s fast food.  But it’s her favourite because there are cooked carrots in the teryaki chickenJ.  For a while now she’s been taking one or more of her babies (she has 3) everywhere & often treating it like a real baby.  She was soooo  thrilled to see that they had highchairs there for her to put her baby in!

I finally convinced her that “baby boy” (can’t remember what his name is!) would probably love carrots just as much as she does & that she should let him try one tooJ.  She thought it was quite funnyJ.

The only other request she had was to play tag together.  I wasn’t sure how that would work with our dress shoes & nice clothes on, but she really wanted to so I decided to find a green area...and ended up finding an amazing park.  She was thrilled to once again be able to take baby out with her (she loves taking the stroller everywhere to push her babies in).  As she was putting her baby in the stroller she told me that the reason he had been laying on the back seat of the van is that he had fallen asleep while we were eating supper.  I asked if she wanted to leave him sleeping.  She assured me that he would stay sleeping in the stroller if she laid him down a little & gave him his "friend" (stuffed animal)J.

 

As we walked up to the park we saw this neat little "cove" with a very cool tree.  Perfect opportunity for a picture togetherJ!

Between the swings & the very large park, she kept so busy that we both completely forgot about tag, but it doesn’t matter...Manda had a blastJ.  She wanted to put baby on the swing, but I reminded her that she might not want to wake him up.  She assured me that he was awake now & would love to go on the swingJ.

Whenever we’re out late, I like the kids to be in pjs so that when we get home I can just throw them in bed.  I had decided not to bring pjs along this time because I wanted to buy Amanda a nighty.  May sound strange, but she’s never had one before...always shorts or pants.  Well, we got to Walmart & they didn’t have a single one.  As we were about to leave we walked past the ladies ones & I thought the small might be able to work...and just be long.  Well, I didn`t account for how wide the neckline is...but she thought it was a hoot & loved having itJ.

For those of you who read my status’ on facebook...here’s the story I was referring to when I said, “Fear of picking up a drunk man late at night...versus...the innocent comment of a 7 year old Amanda.  Which do you think won??”

By the time we headed home it was between 10:30 & 11...and getting dark quickly.  We turned off at our exit (for those around here it was the exit by Bowden to go to Olds).  Just as I was exiting (along with a couple other cars at the same time) I saw out of the corner of my eye what looked like someone waving their arms.  I looked again & there was someone in the “V” between the highway & the exit waving their arms.  I automatically slowed down to make sure they didn’t need help.  As I rolled down my window, I was starting to double guess my choice to stop.  Someone waving their arms seemed to need help...and the compassion in me wanted to help...but the common sense in me said that I never stopped to pick someone up when it was only me in the vehicle...and having Amanda with me almost made it worse!  He started running toward me & I called out asking if he needed help...hoping to get an answer before he got too close.  He didn’t respond the first time so I asked again.  Continuing to run toward me he said, “I just need a ride into Olds”.  Shoot...now what Lord?  It’s really not wise for me to pick up a drunk man (I could tell right away that he was drunk) with only me & Amanda in the vehicle!  

Well...I panicked.  I didn’t know what to do.  He was still 10 or 12 yards away.  I said, “I’m sorry, I can’t do that...and drove away.”  Almost immediately I felt a tugging on my heart.  Did I do the right thing?  Should I have picked him up & trusted you to keep us safe God?  You know you can trust Me Heidi.  What if I wanted to use you in his life?  But Lord I have Amanda in the van with me...I have to make a wise choice to keep her safe too!  You don’t think I want Amanda to stay safe too?  Of course I do Lord...  Then show me with your actions.  Are You saying You want me to turn around & go back Lord?  Maybe someone else already picked him up.  I drove for probably a full 5 km with all this going through my head.  Finally, I pulled over.  I knew I had to make a decision.  As I stopped, I prayed, Lord please make it very clear to me if You are wanting me to turn around & go back.  I want to follow You Lord!  Within seconds of praying that prayer Amanda spoke up behind me (she had been just getting herself cozied into sleep & I had told her kind of what was going on & why I wasn’t sure if I should stop).  “Mommy, that’s a long ways to walk if nobody else picks him up.”  She didn’t say it as a guilt trip or really excitedly or with conviction...just a matter of fact statement...that’s a long way to walk.  OK Lord, I hear You loud & clear...I’m turning around.  Does that mean I’m supposed to pick him up?  I guess if he’s still there, then the answer is ’yes ’...and if he’s not, then You just wanted me to show I was willing to obey.  Either way Lord, I’m just trusting You. 

As you may have guessed, he was still there.  My heart was pounding in my chest.  Lord give me the words to say.  Help me to be Your light!  I stopped & started to apologize, but he pretty much ignored me & just came around the van to get in.  OK Lord now I’m even more nervous...seems like he’s not all there.  Give me peace.  Help me not to worry.  I started again once he got in...found out his name is Jeff...and apologized.  I explained that I had panicked because it was just my daughter & I & it was late.  He assured me, through heavily scented breath that he wasn’t ’that guy’ & that we were safe to pick him up.  He brought this up probably 4 times before I dropped him off (about 15 minutes I think)...assuring me that I didn’t need to worry & that he wouldn’t do anything.  At one point he patted a paper bag under his sweater & let me know ’this isn’t a gun’.  Not sure if that was more reassuring or not...

Anyway...we didn’t talk about anything really deep.  I mostly just tried to keep talking with him & let him know I cared.  At one point he let me know that he goes to church too (not sure how he knew that I do...maybe the music playing).  We talked about that for a bit.  He hinted a number of times about not wanting to talk about certain things with Amanda there (when he patted the paper bag under his sweater he said out loud that it wasn’t a gun...but then tried to whisper to me that it was alcohol & he didn’t want her to know that)...he wanted her to go home & say that he was a good guy & hadn’t treated her mom badly.  Overall, there wasn’t any ’WOW ’ conversation.  Maybe if I was better at thinking on my feet I could have had a better talk with him.  I thought of a few things afterward that I could have said.  I can’t regret it though because I was being obedient.  I just pray that something about us picking him up will nag at him & make him realize that there’s more to life than where he’s headed.  

Although I pray that in some way we could have had an impact in Jeff’s life...I think the bigger lesson in it all was meant for me.  I am so glad that I allowed the simple innocence in Amanda’s words to override the fear I was feeling.  I need to be willing to step out of my comfort zone to allow Jesus to use me.  No, that doesn’t mean I should be foolish...but if He is asking me to do it then I have no reason to fear.  Thank you Lord for speaking to me through Amanda.  It was so humbling to hear Your words through her!  Please help me not to forget that...the innocent trust of a child just wanting to do what’s right.  Teach me Lord Jesus!

A Tuesday with Heidi!

I'm thankful for…kids who want to learn more about Jesus & follow Him! They all go through their phases…but they’ve all had their times of saying things out of the blue that just blow me away & it’s so cool!!! I love being able to catch a glimpse of how God is working in their lives! I’m also extremely thankful that my parents are home safe from the Dominican Republic!

I'm listening to…silence…Ben watching the replay of the Oilers game after he got home from hockey.

What’s happening with the kids? Well, Benjamin has a lot going on right now. The last couple weeks he’s had a bit more homework as they are doing a unit about knights & castles. Next week is going to be crazy. Knights & castles homework…spelling…show & share…potluck & he has to bring a food dish from Peru…plus he has to finish his science fair project that he started yesterday (I know, I know…we’ve been running off our feet & I suddenly realized it was next week & he really wants to do it…). Wouldn’t be quite so overwhelming if we had each day between now & then to work on it all…but Ben & I are gone from early, early Friday morning till Sunday evening (more on that later)…plus 2 of those nights he has environment club & one he has Kid’s Rock! Ahhhhhh! Calm down…breathe…ok…we can do thisJ. Manda is thrilled to be back in gymnastics. She loves helping me whenever she can & gets very disappointed if she offers & there’s nothing she can do. I’m learning (slowly) to find little ways to involve her & make her feel special. She loves doing girl things with Mommy whenever possible as well. Most days her & Kirby get along like a charm…some days not so muchJ. It seems like it’s one extreme or the other with them. One day they play nicely together all day long…the next they’re constantly picking at each other…bugging…etc. Kirby has grown up so much lately. He is learning to control his anger & find different ways to express it. Some of the thoughts that have come out of his mouth lately have just blown me away. Kirby is LOVING hockey & is always disappointed if he has to miss a practice.

What’s new with Ben & I? Well, like I hinted, we get to go away this weekend! Ben & I are going to the Breakforth Conference in Edmonton this weekend for the first time. When I was first teaching Sunday School there was a conference in Calgary called TRAIN. I loved going every year to be refreshed, get new ideas & learn from others who had been there. Well, I haven’t been there for a few years now & have missed it. Breakforth is very similar, but on a MUCH larger scale. I get to go to an all day session with Tim Kimmel whose book I’ve been reading (Grace Based Parenting)…Newsboys concert…various seminars Saturday & Sunday…Phil Keagy concert (Ben’s super excited about that). Anyways…I’m really looking forward to hanging out with my hubby for the weekend (even though we’ll be in different sessions)…being refreshed…getting new ideas…and just spending time with the Lord.

We haven’t had much work since Christmas, but have started a couple of insurance jobs that we got from the storm this summer. We’ve been very grateful for that. Last week there was a delay with that & we didn’t know if we’d have work this week. Well, yesterday Ben got a call back about a quote he’d done…and today he poured a footing! First basement of the new yearJ. Thank you Lord!! We’re also very thankful that we were able to get some bank work figured out that will relieve some pressure & get us on our way to being debt free!! Although it’s a ways away yet, that’ll be a joyous dayJ.

What’s happening around the house? Dirtiness…well…I’m just being honest… It’s been driving me crazy…to many messes & piles that I can’t ever seem to catch up to. I guess it’s just low on the priority list right now…which is probably right…but it still makes it harder for me to get motivated to do other things sometimes. Someday…

What's happening in my kitchen? Nothing...no that’s not true…taco saladJ. I’ve been a horrible wife & mother…we’ve had a lot of thrown together, easy meals lately…veggies, bread with honey, avocado wrap, scrambled eggs, fruit, cheese sticks… I have made taco salad though…twice in the last week (second time was leftovers)…and I’m making it again tomorrow! In our house the birthday boy (or girl) gets to choose supper on their birthday…well Kirby picked taco saladJ. I really want to bake some cookies & muffins to get in the freezer…it’s been a REALLY long time (other than a few Christmas goodies). Ah well…someday…

I am missing…slouching…NOT! Ever since Ben put his ribs out back before Christmas he’s been going to the chiropractor regularly to get it all straightened out. The goal is to get him to a point where he can go once a month & stay healthy instead of waiting till his back is horrible. Well, I got motivated to go too (wish I’d done it when Alberta Health Care still covered part!!) After I’d been a few times the chiro commented to me that I was standing a lot straighter. I’ve always known I slouched…but it hurt so much to stand up straight…now I realized that it had felt good to stand up straight & hurt to slouch so I was standing straight automatically! It may seem silly, but this is a big deal for me. This has bothered me since I was in high school but I didn’t know that I could do much about it. I was thrilledJ. I’ve even figured out that “one cheek sitting” is what was putting my hips out. Now if I could just figure out what’s putting my neck out & how to change it…that’s the only part that’s still bothering me!

I am praying for…wisdom as we strive to spend money wisely & be good stewards of what God has given us. I’m also praying for a little boy named Isaiah May whose parents are fighting for his life right now (see my last blog post).

What’s God been doing in my heart? My sister Katrina gave me an audio book for Christmas that I’ve wanted for a long time…The Five Love Languages of Children. If you haven’t read The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman I would HIGHLY recommend it. It gave me so much insight into why I am the way I am…what makes me feel loved & how I love others. I’ve been super excited to read the one about kids. Since I hardly ever have time to sit & read…but I do quite a bit of driving…I have really started enjoying audio books. Anyway…I’ve been working at figuring out the kids’ love languages. I’ll give you a very brief overview of my thoughts…note that this will not do the book justice…I’m just spitting out thoughtsJ.

Benjamin’s primary love language is quality time…I’m sure of it. It makes so much sense. We’ve been having issues with his behavior since he started school. He went from spending all day every day with me with way more opportunity for quality time…to being gone for 7 hours in a day & having everything go, go, go once he gets home. It’s no wonder he has started acting out…he needs that attention back.

For Amanda I’m torn…I think it’s either words of affirmation or acts of service. It means so much to her when positive things are said to her…but that’s not really how she shows love (which is usually a sign of what your love language is). She loves to help me fold laundry, make supper, etc...and got so excited when Ben built a “swing” for her doll…which makes me think it might be acts of service.

Kirby has got to be physical touch…but words of affirmation is right up there for him too. Hugs, kisses & cuddles are so important to him…but he’s also very good at giving positive comments to others. I find his love tank the easiest to fill because he so often comes to me for hugs, kisses & cuddles. I’m just going to start the chapter about how to determine your child’s love language (hopefully when we’re driving this weekend) so I’ll keep you posted if I learn moreJ. I’m already finding that I’m more conscious of what little times I can use to fill their love tanks.

Two wheels vs. Four

So in the last week or so Manda has been saying that she wants to learn to ride a two wheel bike like Benji. She is old enough to learn, but I wanted to make sure she was going to stick with it. Well, she’s been talking about it every day & asking if Ben could please make her bike a two wheel bike (ie: take the training wheels off). It’s been pretty cute how much she has wanted it. So…we decided tonight for family night we’d let the kids do some riding in the cul-de-sac & see how it went. She did it! We need to keep working on corners & leaning her bike over, but she’s definitely well on her way! I’m so proud of herJ.

When Manda decided she wanted to, we thought we may as well try to get Kirby off his training wheels too. He loves every sport there is & is good at pretty much every one of them, so we thought he’d almost certainly pick it up right away. Well, apparently he wasn’t quite so sure. He did great…he started on his own & could ride in a straight line great…but despite all our encouragement he ended up bursting into tears saying, “I want four wheels!” I felt so bad. Contrary to what it might seem though…it’s not that he didn’t want to ride a two wheeler…but it bugged him that he couldn’t do it by himself right away. I think that’s something we’ll deal with all through life with him. He knows how to reach for the stars…but doesn’t like it if he can’t get there right awayJ. Ben put the training wheels back on so he could ride around on his own.

Tonight when I was tucking the boys in Kirby said that he changed his mind & that he did want to try some more to ride with two wheels. Benjamin overheard him & nearly jumped off the bed with excitement, “My prayer was answered!!!” I asked him what he meant. He said that when we had been riding outside he had stopped & prayed that Kirby wouldn’t give up & that he would keep trying. When Benjamin said that, Kirby added, “Like perseverance!”

I’m so proud of our kidsJ. Benjamin is learning that he can talk to Jesus whenever & wherever he wants…and that He listens! Manda is gaining so much confidence & is determined to learn to ride that bike! Kirby has not forgotten a homeschool lesson we did back in the fall about perseverance…and he’s applying it! Thank you Lord for these 3 precious gifts you’ve given us…and for allowing me to peek into their hearts so that I don’t take these things for granted…and to encourage me to persevere even on the tough days!!!

One proud Mommy:)

Yup...that’s meJ. I was tucking Benjamin into bed tonight...as I finished & was about to leave he said he had one more thing to tell me. Benjamin has a tendancy to do that a lot & stall bedtime...so I nearly told him no, that he could tell me tomorrow. I bit my tongue though (led by the Holy Spirit I’m sure...Thank you Lord!!!) & asked him what he wanted to tell me. “Mommy, you know how I used to get up & tell you that I was hurting?” (For about 2 weeks he kept getting up every night...about a half hour after we put him to bed...saying his ears were hurting or his tummy was hurting.) “That wasn’t true, I just liked the taste of the medicine.” (I gave him Tylenol a couple of times for his ears & tums for his tummy.) “When Daddy told me that having too much medicine could make my stomach bleed & make me sick, then I didn’t want to do it anymore, so that’s why I stopped.” (We suspected what was going on so Ben had talked with him & explained how it wasn’t good for us to have medicine all the time...resistance...ulcers...not healthy...) “I’ve been thinking about it a lot since then...should I apologize to Mommy or should I keep it to myself? I decided that tonight was a good time to tell you.” (Written as close as I can remember to how he said it.)

I nearly started bawling...how proud can a mom get?! I told him 3 or 4 times how proud I was of him for telling me...and how happy it made Jesus...and how good it was for his own heart...it felt so good to see the relief in his eyes...that he didn’t have to hold it inside anymore...definitely a good reminder for me too!

Smiles:)

After all that I nearly forgot to tell you my funnies of the dayJ These are the reasons I started this blog…stuff like this that has hit me for years, but I never wrote it down so I’ll never remember it all…

Yesterday for lunch in Red Deer we decided to go to Boston Pizza. We had gotten some coupons for free pizzas & drinks so we had a free meal there anyways. The kids are used to choosing something off the kids menu when we’re there, so when we told them this time they had to have pizza they weren’t too sure, but were OK with it. Then Kirby started to get upset, “But I want veggies Mommy!” He was upset because he wanted to be able to pick the steamed veggies to go with his meal. I told him we could order a side of veggies…then proceeded to forget when we placed our order. He got his pizza, looked at it, looked again…”but Mommy where’s my veggies??” Oh dear…I ordered them & told him to eat his pizza while he waited. He didn’t want to eat any of his pizza till after he had his veggies! We eventually talked him into eating a little, but he wasn’t happy till his veggies came!

Then today we had to go out again for supper…the joys of having to be in the city over meal time…so we thought we’d take the kids to BP’s again since yesterday was free (except the veggiesJ). They were thrilled to learn that they’d get to pick their meals this time. Kirby quickly added, “And I want veggies!” Then as we were walking in he said, “I don’t want anything else, just veggies!” It’s so cute to hear him sayJ Rather ironic too…Benjamin being the first was raised on veggies & he’s eaten them from the start…Manda was pretty much the same. By the time Kirby came along though, Benjamin was old enough that I had started giving him a very few select sweets…well, then the other 2 want to know why they can’t have one. Kirby had veggies from the start too, but it was more of a fight with him because he knew what “sweets” are early on. It’s fun to see it come full circle & have him begging for veggiesJ It’s not just at BP’s either…Kirby doesn’t do well when he gets hungry…he’s usually the one telling me he wants lunch & I’ll tell him I just have to finish such & such. He goes straight to the fridge & pulls out the cucumber, carrots, & peppers & puts them on the counter. “I got the veggies out for you Mommy (hint, hint!).”

Yesterday we got Amanda’s hair cut for the first time at a hairdresser. I’ve just been trimming it myself, but because I don’t know what I’m doing I always end up cutting off more than I want so her hair never gets past a certain length. I found out that at Beaners it only cost $13 to get it cut, so decided to go for it. She had so much fun! She was so proud to sit in the little pink car & was proud as punch when the hairdresser put sparkles in her hair & called her a princess. It was fun to watch her face. We’ve always called her a princess & I’ve stressed to her many times that she doesn’t have to be dressed up all pretty to be a princess…that God made her his princess & ours. The look on her face to hear that from someone else though was pricelessJ

The kids (especially Benjamin) have started wanting to be able to buy Christmas gifts for each other this year. I debated how to go about it…I really wanted to encourage them to think about giving, not just receiving so we decided to give them each $5 to spend on each of their siblings. The kids have been on the lookout for what they wanted to get. Benjamin had decided early on that he wanted to get Manda something that cost $15…I talked to him about it numerous times…”Are you sure you want to spend $10 out of your savings?” Yes, he was sure. At Beaners yesterday they had what he wanted so Ben took the younger 2 so he could pay for it. Made me proud to see him willing to give up extra money to get something he knew his little sister would really like! The rest of the day he kept wanting to tell me what he wanted to get Daddy for Christmas, but he couldn’t because Daddy was there. So when we got to the church last night he finally told me…soooo excited that he’d thought of something he knew Daddy would like…and yes it’ll cost $20 or so…haven’t decided where to go with that one yet, but super proud of him for thinking of others!