The Truly Important Things I've Done This Summer

This is a follow-up to my post back at the beginning of August.  I wanted to keep track of what I did & keep myself accountable so to speak.  So here are some of the important things that I’m happy I have filled my summer with so far (in no particular order)J.

v  Went out west to hang out with my family & dear friends the Sawatzky’s (missionary friends from when we were in Africa).

v  Took the kids camping...and along with Ben got to see them all catch their first fish.

v  Sat on the couch with my kids & read stories.

v  Went for a walk with my wonderful friend Jodi & thoroughly enjoyed adult conversation.

v  Hung out with a new homeschooling friend & her kids.

v  Went to the zoo...twice...one of those times with my good friend Kim.

v  Spent time with Kyla (sister in law) & her kids.

v  Enjoyed an afternoon with the Browns...visiting for me & play for the kids.

v  Helped get the Elliotts moved in.

v  Played games.

v  Spent some extra time at camp with Amanda when we picked her up to let her show us around & tell stories.

v  Took the kids on a field trip to a honey farm.

v  Spent an afternoon/evening with our dear friends the Elliott’s.

v  Sat & chatted with my sister Jodi at a church potluck when she came through unexpectadly.

v  Talked on the phone for over an hour with my dear cousin Beckie.

v  Put my camera down & enjoyed the moment.

v  Played catch with Benjamin & enjoyed his smile.

v  Enjoyed holding Kirby’s hand when he was needing extra closeness.

v  Cherished the moments when Amanda comes to me out of the blue & says, “I love you Mommy”.

v  I have sat here at the computer trying to work on something...and instead I have been stopped in my tracks by my kids’ laughter...and I have just sat here & enjoyed itJJ.

There is still much more I want to do...and I will update again, but I feel good about the truly important things we’ve been able to do this summerJ.  What have you been up to this summer?

A Humbling Lesson

I’ve had a LOT of blog posts running through my head lately.  Some about what we’ve been up to about family...but more about things I’ve been thinking about...things I’ve been working through...struggles I’ve been having...that kind of thing.  I can’t do them all in one day.  And quite honestly, some will probably never happen, but I wanted to start with this story from last Sunday.

Amanda & I headed out shortly after church to go to my good friend, Kim’s baby shower!  Baby showers have become something that Amanda & I almost always do together.  I needed to pick up a few things in Red Deer afterward since we’d be really close & we decided to combine it all & do Amanda’s special night at the same time.  

We were thrilled to meet Makaio at the shower...

And I was very happy to catch up with a couple of friends from highschool...Kim (Makaio’s mom) & Ida!

After picking up what we needed, Manda wanted to go to Edo Japan for supper.  Yes it’s fast food.  But it’s her favourite because there are cooked carrots in the teryaki chickenJ.  For a while now she’s been taking one or more of her babies (she has 3) everywhere & often treating it like a real baby.  She was soooo  thrilled to see that they had highchairs there for her to put her baby in!

I finally convinced her that “baby boy” (can’t remember what his name is!) would probably love carrots just as much as she does & that she should let him try one tooJ.  She thought it was quite funnyJ.

The only other request she had was to play tag together.  I wasn’t sure how that would work with our dress shoes & nice clothes on, but she really wanted to so I decided to find a green area...and ended up finding an amazing park.  She was thrilled to once again be able to take baby out with her (she loves taking the stroller everywhere to push her babies in).  As she was putting her baby in the stroller she told me that the reason he had been laying on the back seat of the van is that he had fallen asleep while we were eating supper.  I asked if she wanted to leave him sleeping.  She assured me that he would stay sleeping in the stroller if she laid him down a little & gave him his "friend" (stuffed animal)J.

 

As we walked up to the park we saw this neat little "cove" with a very cool tree.  Perfect opportunity for a picture togetherJ!

Between the swings & the very large park, she kept so busy that we both completely forgot about tag, but it doesn’t matter...Manda had a blastJ.  She wanted to put baby on the swing, but I reminded her that she might not want to wake him up.  She assured me that he was awake now & would love to go on the swingJ.

Whenever we’re out late, I like the kids to be in pjs so that when we get home I can just throw them in bed.  I had decided not to bring pjs along this time because I wanted to buy Amanda a nighty.  May sound strange, but she’s never had one before...always shorts or pants.  Well, we got to Walmart & they didn’t have a single one.  As we were about to leave we walked past the ladies ones & I thought the small might be able to work...and just be long.  Well, I didn`t account for how wide the neckline is...but she thought it was a hoot & loved having itJ.

For those of you who read my status’ on facebook...here’s the story I was referring to when I said, “Fear of picking up a drunk man late at night...versus...the innocent comment of a 7 year old Amanda.  Which do you think won??”

By the time we headed home it was between 10:30 & 11...and getting dark quickly.  We turned off at our exit (for those around here it was the exit by Bowden to go to Olds).  Just as I was exiting (along with a couple other cars at the same time) I saw out of the corner of my eye what looked like someone waving their arms.  I looked again & there was someone in the “V” between the highway & the exit waving their arms.  I automatically slowed down to make sure they didn’t need help.  As I rolled down my window, I was starting to double guess my choice to stop.  Someone waving their arms seemed to need help...and the compassion in me wanted to help...but the common sense in me said that I never stopped to pick someone up when it was only me in the vehicle...and having Amanda with me almost made it worse!  He started running toward me & I called out asking if he needed help...hoping to get an answer before he got too close.  He didn’t respond the first time so I asked again.  Continuing to run toward me he said, “I just need a ride into Olds”.  Shoot...now what Lord?  It’s really not wise for me to pick up a drunk man (I could tell right away that he was drunk) with only me & Amanda in the vehicle!  

Well...I panicked.  I didn’t know what to do.  He was still 10 or 12 yards away.  I said, “I’m sorry, I can’t do that...and drove away.”  Almost immediately I felt a tugging on my heart.  Did I do the right thing?  Should I have picked him up & trusted you to keep us safe God?  You know you can trust Me Heidi.  What if I wanted to use you in his life?  But Lord I have Amanda in the van with me...I have to make a wise choice to keep her safe too!  You don’t think I want Amanda to stay safe too?  Of course I do Lord...  Then show me with your actions.  Are You saying You want me to turn around & go back Lord?  Maybe someone else already picked him up.  I drove for probably a full 5 km with all this going through my head.  Finally, I pulled over.  I knew I had to make a decision.  As I stopped, I prayed, Lord please make it very clear to me if You are wanting me to turn around & go back.  I want to follow You Lord!  Within seconds of praying that prayer Amanda spoke up behind me (she had been just getting herself cozied into sleep & I had told her kind of what was going on & why I wasn’t sure if I should stop).  “Mommy, that’s a long ways to walk if nobody else picks him up.”  She didn’t say it as a guilt trip or really excitedly or with conviction...just a matter of fact statement...that’s a long way to walk.  OK Lord, I hear You loud & clear...I’m turning around.  Does that mean I’m supposed to pick him up?  I guess if he’s still there, then the answer is ’yes ’...and if he’s not, then You just wanted me to show I was willing to obey.  Either way Lord, I’m just trusting You. 

As you may have guessed, he was still there.  My heart was pounding in my chest.  Lord give me the words to say.  Help me to be Your light!  I stopped & started to apologize, but he pretty much ignored me & just came around the van to get in.  OK Lord now I’m even more nervous...seems like he’s not all there.  Give me peace.  Help me not to worry.  I started again once he got in...found out his name is Jeff...and apologized.  I explained that I had panicked because it was just my daughter & I & it was late.  He assured me, through heavily scented breath that he wasn’t ’that guy’ & that we were safe to pick him up.  He brought this up probably 4 times before I dropped him off (about 15 minutes I think)...assuring me that I didn’t need to worry & that he wouldn’t do anything.  At one point he patted a paper bag under his sweater & let me know ’this isn’t a gun’.  Not sure if that was more reassuring or not...

Anyway...we didn’t talk about anything really deep.  I mostly just tried to keep talking with him & let him know I cared.  At one point he let me know that he goes to church too (not sure how he knew that I do...maybe the music playing).  We talked about that for a bit.  He hinted a number of times about not wanting to talk about certain things with Amanda there (when he patted the paper bag under his sweater he said out loud that it wasn’t a gun...but then tried to whisper to me that it was alcohol & he didn’t want her to know that)...he wanted her to go home & say that he was a good guy & hadn’t treated her mom badly.  Overall, there wasn’t any ’WOW ’ conversation.  Maybe if I was better at thinking on my feet I could have had a better talk with him.  I thought of a few things afterward that I could have said.  I can’t regret it though because I was being obedient.  I just pray that something about us picking him up will nag at him & make him realize that there’s more to life than where he’s headed.  

Although I pray that in some way we could have had an impact in Jeff’s life...I think the bigger lesson in it all was meant for me.  I am so glad that I allowed the simple innocence in Amanda’s words to override the fear I was feeling.  I need to be willing to step out of my comfort zone to allow Jesus to use me.  No, that doesn’t mean I should be foolish...but if He is asking me to do it then I have no reason to fear.  Thank you Lord for speaking to me through Amanda.  It was so humbling to hear Your words through her!  Please help me not to forget that...the innocent trust of a child just wanting to do what’s right.  Teach me Lord Jesus!

Vote for me:)

A dear friend of mine emailed me this morning to say that I should sign my blog up on “Circle of Moms”.  They’re doing a vote for the Top 25 Faith Blogs by Moms.  Although it’s not something I would have signed up for on my own, I am honoured that she thought of me so I thought I may as wellJ.  If you’d like to vote for me, check out the link on the right.  You can vote once every 24 hours till June 8.  Thanks in advance if you choose to vote...and thank YOU for suggesting it...you made me feel really specialJ.

Soul Surfer

On Friday afternoon I had the privilege of going to a movie on opening night!  I’m not sure that I’ve ever done that before.  I thoroughly enjoyed hanging out with Jodi & her kids to watch “Soul Surfer”.  It was so refreshing to see a movie that had no questionable content!  For those of you who haven’t heard about it, “Soul Surfer” is based on the true story of Bethany Hamilton, a teenage girl who lost her arm in a shark attack.  I loved the healthy family & marriage relationships portrayed in the movie.  I loved the message portrayed that “I” am not the most important thing.  I loved the way the movie showed how the Holy Spirit works in people’s lives....when we are following Him, our lives become a testimony in themselves. 

I would definitely let Benjamin (9) see this movie...and I think that’s huge considering the VERY small number of new movies that I would let him see.  The only intense part is when Bethany is attacked by the shark.  If it weren’t for that I’d let Amanda & Kirby see it too (I still might & just take them out of the room for that part).  Anyway...all that to say that I’d highly recommend you go see it!!! 

Oh, one more thing...I LOVE biographies...so I also loved the fact that this was a true story...and that the movie showed pictures & video of the “real” Bethany at the end (I’d have to watch it back, but I think there was also home video at the beginning).  I came across this youtube video after I got home & loved being able to hear Bethany share her heart in her own words...check it outJ.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EjUbYx6ozic&feature=player_embedded

Shucks...

I guess it didn’t work.  Anyone know how to put an audio clip (MP3) on blogger?

Benjamin on the radio!

Benjamin went on a field trip yesterday to the radio station in Olds.  The kids recorded messages that will be played throughout the next year.  I’m so proud of him!!! 

Hoping this works....

 

Moms...on call 24/7

When I got pregnant with Benjamin I was excited. I thought I would slip very easily into the mothering role…after all, I helped raise my younger brother & sister. I did diaper changes, rocked them to sleep, & read stories…this would be easy! I remember within the first week of being home from the hospital realizing how wrong I was. As much as I thought I did at the time with Drew & Trina…it was nothing compared to being a mom. I really struggled with that for a while after Benjamin was born. I was on call 24/7…I couldn’t just change the diaper & hand him off to Mommy…I was Mommy! Well, I soon came to grips with the loss of my freedom…knowing that no matter what I did I had to consider him & what he needed (even if I had a night off!). It was definitely nice to have had the “baby experience” with Andrew & Trina…just not the same.

The last week has been a reminder of all of that. Benjamin has been sick a lot since school started…off & on with a cough…a runny nose… It all kind of came to a head on Wednesday night last week…he got a fever & was up a bunch that night. No worries…I kept him home from school…he got some extra sleep Thursday (& so did I)…and he started to get better. I can deal with that.

Friday night we went to the orchestra…on the way there Manda & Kirby started coughing & having runny noses…bad time to get sick! OK, well we made it through the performance with lots of cuddles. Saturday…everyone sleeps in…ahhhh. M&K still have cold symptoms, but otherwise fine. Saturday night…Kirby wakes up with a fever…not feeling good at all…up half the night with him.

Stayed home with the kids from church on Sunday…didn’t want to pass this on. By noon they were back to just cold symptoms…wonderful mother-in-law agrees to keep them so we can go on a date…even though they’re sick. They both had fevers that night. On the way home from our date Sunday night my throat started to feel a little sore…uh oh…hope I can sleep it off. Got to sleep in Monday morning (holiday) before picking up the kids…still woke up with a sore throat though. Nothing else really wrong…just a sore throat that turned into a cough through the day Monday.

Monday night I got the chills…shaking uncontrollably…not fun. Got to bed on time. No sooner cuddled up to Ben & started getting warm than Manda comes in. I don’t remember all the details after that. Manda & Kirby were each up at least twice…taking turns. Cuddle with Ben, start to get warm…kid awake…shiver my way to their room, crawl in their bed to cuddle them, just start to get warm, head back to my bed…and the cycle would start again. It was 2am before they were both sleeping & I finally got to go to sleep…at which point my fever broke I think…I started sweating like crazy.

Considering the night, Tuesday was rather uneventful. I felt good as long as I could avoid coughing…that hurt like crazy. Otherwise I was fine & it seemed the same for the kids. Ben had started coughing, but otherwise felt fine. He had his first hockey game of the season last night. It was an early game & I planned to stay up till he got home…talk to him for a few minutes & then head to bed. Well, he got home a bit later than expected…with the chills…same as I had the night before…shaking uncontrollably. He had a bath to try & warm up, then fed him supper (he doesn’t eat supper before hockey games), & had him comfortable on the couch…took his temp…fever. He was hurting too bad to go to bed right away so I just sat with him a while…got some advil. Eventually we headed to bed…1:45. Sure enough, just as I got comfortable & started to doze, Kirby woke up. Ugh…Lord I don’t have the strength for any more! By the time I got him back to bed it was 2:30…then I laid awake till 3:30 as Ben tossed & turned. Eventually his fever broke & he fell asleep (so did I)…only to have the alarm go at 6:30…have to get Benjamin to school! I heard the first alarm & slept through the rest…poor Benjamin was late for school.

I feel worse today than I did yesterday…it’s no surprise I guess. Sleep helps you get better…lack of sleep does the opposite. Yet, I will continue on…this is my job…I’m a mom…24/7. God knows…He’ll help me through it. For now, I’m heading to the school to walk a lap with Benjamin…because I love him & I know it matters to him!

Correction

I need to make a correction about Ben’s deer. I though this was only the 2^nd one he’s gotten with a bow…it’s actually his 3^rd…sorry BenJ. It is the first buck he’s gotten, but there were 2 does.

Meat for the freezer!!!

I’m so excited because Ben got a deer when he was hunting last night!!! This holds a number of firsts for us:

*Ben’s first buck with his bow (he’s only gotten two others & they were does)

*The first time the kids have seen it before it’s skinned…and been able to watch Ben gut it (sorry if it sounds disgusting…but it’s reality…and I’m always fascinated…I loved biologyJ)

*It’s also the first time Ben has ever gotten a deer this early in the season. The earliest before was end of September or beginning of October. Usually he’s just rushing at the end of the season to get something in the freezer before the end of the season. I’m very excited because this means there’s a very real possibility of getting 2 this year! The meat from one deer only lasts us a couple of months…it would really nice to have enough to last us through the spring.

Anyways…a few pictures…one with the kids…

…and my handsome hubby & his first buck with a bow…I’m proud of you BenJ! I love you!

Power surges & vacuum cleaners

Wow, it’s been a long week already & it’s only just started! We’ve had a lot of thunderstorms in the last few days. The kids know the drill well…as soon as we hear thunder we shut down the computer & unplug it. It’s on a surge protector power bar, but I’ve never trusted those fully. Anyway, yesterday afternoon we heard another rumble…Benjamin shut the computer down & I unplugged it. Later on after the kids were in bed & the storm had passed I came to check email…but the computer wouldn’t turn on…click the button, nothing. We tried all sorts of stuff to no avail. I was sick…but grateful. I store all my documents & pictures on my external hard drive so I still had those which took a lot of pressure off…but today is payday & our bookwork is on this computer. I finally got ahold of the computer shop in town & found out it could actually be an easy fix. I am sooooo relieved!!! It cost $88, but that’s a whole lot less than a new computer & having to worry about retrieving files!!!

I didn’t have much time to enjoy that though…got home & started plugging the computer back in…noticed a lot of dust bunnies back there & thought I’d vacuum it while it was all pulled out. Manda got the vacuum for me & plugged it in…nothing. Apparently after nearly 3 years, the cord is toast. I should be able to get it fixed on Friday as I’ll be in Calgary anyway, but it’s another $150!!!

I am choosing to be thankful though…a month ago we didn’t have money to get any of it fixed. Thankfully, Ben is finishing up a job right now & is starting another one tomorrow or Thursday…it’ll still be tight, but at least we can get them fixed.

An Unexpected Joy

Yesterday was an interesting day. At first it seemed like it would be a good day, but by about 11:00 I was getting more & more frustrated because Benjamin wasn’t at all motivated to get his school done & it was looking like we’d be at it all day long…& I wanted to go outside & enjoy the sun! Anyways, when Ben called to say he was done pouring & that he might like to go to the Bass Pro Shop to see if they have a part for his gun, I brushed it off. I don’t mind going to hunting/camping/etc stores with him, but usually get tired of it long before he’s done. I did want to go to the Bass Pro Shop though…it’s a brand new store & supposed to be pretty amazing. I got thinking that with something like that for motivation maybe Benjamin would get his school done…and at least it would get us out of the house. I suggested to Ben that we all go & he agreed.

Well, Benjamin did get a move on his school which was nice. We headed out just before 4:00. I was still feeling down, but was glad to be out of the house & expecting my mood to change. We arrived at the Bass Pro Shop & I was excited to see what all the talk has been about. Even just on the outside of the building there was so much detail! Well, we walked in, & all I can say is WOW!!! My mood was completely flipped within 5 minutes of being in there. We spent 1 ½ hours walking around the store. It was phenomenal. The kids loved it. It was a science field trip/lesson that I’m sure will stick much longer than the writing lesson we were struggling with in the morning! It was so fun to just be together as a family (we’ve had a lot of that this winter, but this was somehow different), to marvel & dream together & to enjoy some of the amazing animals God has created! We didn’t spend a penny in there (at least not this timeJ)…but somehow that made it even better. I won’t even begin to try to describe the store…I could never do it justice. My favorite part though is how when you walk in the doors you can see all the different scenes & it feels like you’re looking at a portrait of the different parts of Alberta…yet when you start walking through the store, each of those parts on it’s own feels very different, like you’re there & a part of it.

To whoever designed the Bass Pro Shop & whoever made it become a reality…thank you…you made my day…and I will definitely be back to wander the aisles with the kids while Ben shopsJ. Lord thank you for the beautiful animals you created. Thank you for allowing us this opportunity to see some of them up close & see the details & intricacies that make it so obvious that You made each & every one. You are awesome God!! Thank you for using something so simple as a new store to speak to me yesterday.

Cheri

OK, so I gave you tiny peek into the surprise I received last week & promised more info…so here it isJ

Last Tuesday, April 7 I was having a bad day. We had just found out that the job Ben’s had for the winter was coming to an end very quickly. Anyways…I won’t write all those details…go back & read my entry “Struggling” if you haven’t already to get a feel for what my mood was like that day. I posted that entry just after noon, did some school with Benjamin, fed the kids lunch & sent them off for quiet times. Somewhere in there I also started a topic on a Facebook group I’m in…looking for encouragement of how to have faith. I decided I had to do something to turn around my mood & “regroup” so I grabbed my Bible & sat down on the couch. I had barely sat down when Manda came in to grab a book. She looked out the door as she walked to the bookshelf & said “Mommy, somebody’s here”. I did a quick mental check & couldn’t think of anyone who was supposed to be stopping by. I leaned over & could see someone at the gate, but couldn’t tell who it was, so I got up & went to the door.

The first thought that went through my head was “Man, that looks a lot like Cheri……no it can’t be, she’s in Norway”. This thought was immediately followed with “Who on earth is that? I recognize them & should know their name…I’m going to embarrass myself by not knowing their name”. Once each of these thoughts had gone through my head with no answers, I opened the door. “Man, that looks a lot like Cheri……no it can’t be, she’s in Norway”… “Who on earth is that? I recognize them & should know their name…I’m going to embarrass myself by not knowing their name”. At this point I think I started to look like a jerky robot. Each time “Man, that looks a lot like Cheri……no it can’t be, she’s in Norway” went through my head I would step forward wanting to run & give her a big hug…but as soon as I thought “Who on earth is that? I recognize them & should know their name…I’m going to embarrass myself by not knowing their name” I would stop short, not wanting to run into a strangers armsJ. So that’s how it went…opened the door…did the robot…stepped outside…did the robot…walked to the edge of the deck…did the robot…went down the steps…did the robot. I must have looked pretty goofy (only Cheri really knowsJ…unless my neighbors were watchingJ). Each time those same thoughts was going through my head…as fast as I’d think it was Cheri, I’d tell myself it couldn’t be & try to figure out who this was. Looking back it’s really quite hilarious because I felt like it all happened in slow motion. Anyways…it was shortly after I went down the steps that I finally believed that it actually was Cheri. First I made some comment like “what on earth!?!”…then I was just speechless while she laughed…then I started crying…

It was just all so overwhelming. I went from feeling the most down I’ve felt in a long time to very suddenly feeling exceedingly happy & excited…bursting at the seams reallyJ. A cuddle with my nephew who we haven’t seen for 5 ½ months, a visit, & a long walk later I was pondering my afternoon. My mood was completely different. So really, what had done it? Yes, of course I was excited to see Cheri…but it was more than that. It was a God thing…I knew that much…but I just couldn’t put a finger on it…until I went back on Facebook & checked that topic I started.

Here’s what our pastor had written to me: I have a saying that I quote when times look tough or bleak. Here it is.
"Never question in the Dark what God showed you in the Light."
Think of how, when times were good, you felt that God was blessing you. How you feel so certain that He is going to use you for great things.
Well, when times are tough, that promise made by God has not changed. What God reveals to you will not change in tough or good times.
Want to know something else really cool - God looks after his children. Read through scripture and you will find example after example of God taking care of those who are faithful to Him. He still loves you and cares for you. He will take care of your needs.
Your job - be faithful to Him.
F.R.O.G. (Fully Rely On God)

Was any of this new to me? No! Is it hard to remember these truths in the middle of a tough time? Sure is for me…not sure what that says about my faith, but I’ll keep plugging away. Every bit of what Pastor Kent said was an encouragement to me that day…but guess which part stuck out to me? “He still loves you & cares for you.” Having a surprise visit from Cheri didn’t get us a job for tomorrow, it didn’t pay the bills, it didn’t even get any work lined up for the future, yet it completely changed my whole day & outlook on life. It hit me that GOD LOVES ME. You’d think after growing up in a Christian home & learning more about Him my whole life, I would have that figured outJ. If you’ve been following my blog since the fall, you know how much I struggled when Cheri (Ben’s sister) & then Sheri (missionary to Mexico) left. But now here & I am…and God gave me this wonderful surprise visit from Cheri…to remind me that He still loves me! He loves me enough to give me a sister-in-law who went to a lot of trouble to make her visit special to all of us. He loves me enough to give me a sister-in-law who understands how much surprises mean to me. He loves me enough to give me a sister-in-law who is sensitive to the Holy Spirit’s leading & listens…she came when I needed it most, instead of waiting a few days like she’d planned. God doesn’t change. If God loves me enough for all that, then He still loves me enough to take care of me in this tough time.

It may not look like we expect, it may not happen on our timing, but He WILL take care of us. He is allowing us to go through this time because He has a purpose. I pray that my eyes are open to see what He is trying to teach me. I pray that I can consider it all joy when I face these trials & that this testing of my faith develops perseverance & that perseverance will finish its work so that I may be perfect & complete, lacking nothing. (James 1:2-4) Here’s the part that stuck out to me when Ben & I read this the other night: “If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, & it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown & tossed by the wind. That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does.” (James 1:5-8, emphasis mine) We sure need wisdom right now…so how do I make sure I’m asking without any doubt? Lord I want to be a rock in the sea, not the wave that is blown & tossed by the wind.

One thing I want to clarify as I’ve shared more of my heart in these tough times for us…I don’t write about my struggles to try & get people to feel sorry for me or to send me money. I truly believe that I need to be open & honest about what’s going on in my heart…not hide it & make it seem like everything is OK. I trust that makes senseJ.

OK, so some of you are dying to know why James, Cheri & Max are home & for how long. Well, when they left in October their paperwork hadn’t gone through yet, but they were able to move as temporary residents (I’m sure that’s not the right word, but the idea is that you’re allowed to stay temporarily for a while). So they moved, expecting their paperwork to go through shortly. Well, they’ve been there for 5 ½ months & still no paperwork. After 6 months they would get kicked out of the country, so the company that James works for flew them home so they can get the paperwork figured out. They plan to be home for a month. It was wonderful to have Easter together with the whole family & I look forward to being able to spend more time with them in the next 3 weeks. Thank you Jesus for sister, surprises, & most of all for Your love!

Finally!

Well, I’ve been terrible at blogging lately! There were a number of times when I really wanted to write & then didn’t get the chance…then I started avoiding it because there was too much to write about…and now here we are at the point where I know I can’t sit here & catch up the last 2 months…so I’ll just have to start again & live with it…drives me crazy not to be organized & have everything there for youJ.

Anyways…I’m going to start something new that will hopefully help me keep up a little better. I got this idea from a friend of mine who was kind enough to allow me to steal itJ...I’ve really enjoyed reading hers & find that the headings allow for sharing a lot of different thoughts & happenings. Thanks Kristy! From now on I’ll do my best to write in that format every Monday…that way you have a bit of an update of what’s been happening. I may end up changing the day if Mondays aren’t working, but I will do my best to write every week. If we do something special or there’s something else I want to write about then I’ll add those in as time allows, but hopefully this way you at least have an updateJ. Without further ado, I’m going to write one today to catch you up a bitJ

A crazy week...and answered prayer

Well, this has been one crazy week! I want to testify to God’s grace & wonderful answers to prayer…so I’m going to cut & paste a couple of things together to give you a picture of our week. This is a bit long, but I’d love it if you’d join us on this ride called “life”…and see how GOD has been working!!

I knew coming into the week that it would be a crazy one & asked early for prayer from our church family via the prayer chain…this gives you an idea of what we had up…
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I would appreciate your prayers for our family this week. On Tuesday Ben goes in for an MRI on his shoulder…something that’s been an issue for many years, but it’s only recently gotten bad enough that doctors are pursuing it further. Pray that we would be able to trust whatever the outcome…if he needs surgery, for income during that time…if he doesn’t, that he would be able to continue working without damaging it more.

Some of you may remember just under 2 years ago when I came to church holding Ben’s glasses. I was so thankful that Ben had been able to receive the gift of site through laser eye surgery. On Thursday Ben goes for touch up surgery…a completely normal step when eyes are as bad as his were. We would appreciate your prayers that the surgery would go smoothly & he would heal quickly. I would also ask that you pray for peace for Ben…going in knowing what’s coming is harder than going blind.

Lastly I would appreciate you lifting me in prayer this week. In September I became overwhelmed with everything going on in my life…I was trying to do too much. I have made a very conscious effort ever since to step back & be willing to say no. Well, this week everything has come together very unintentionally…starting school with Benjamin, first Kid Connection after Christmas, plus these 2 appointments…I’ve been very aware of not wanting to end up where I was emotionally in September. I am striving to trust that God is going to get me through this week…but in my imperfect human state, it feels like every few hours I feel anxious about it again & have to give it back to the Lord.

Thank you in advance for your prayers for our family
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I have been learning what it means to pray with expectancy…expecting that God is going to answer prayer instead of being surprised when He does. I guess I need to keep working on itJ When I sent that prayer request, I truly did believe that it would be answered…but I was still surprised at how quickly God started answering it. Check out all the answered prayers (***) in our week!!

I started school with Benjamin on Monday morning. It seemed kind of strange that I hardly got any emails all day, but I was focusing on school, so I didn’t dwell on it. It wasn’t until 8:30 that evening that I realized we didn’t get our weather emails…I hadn’t received any email since 9:00 that morning. After restarting the computer & the modem I received 22 emails…2 of them being from our church family letting us know they were praying for us. It was very apparent to me that even though I didn’t see those 2 emails till nearly 12 hours after they sent them, God had begun to answer them already. By receiving no email all day I was able to focus on school with Benjamin & instead of ending the day feeling overwhelmed & discouraged as I was expecting, I felt hopeful & very positive (***). Thus began day 1 of answered prayer.

Tuesday was a bit hectic getting the kids out the door early, but we made it to the MRI on time (***). The MRI was more painful than Ben had expected (it didn’t help that I had forgotten to tell him that they had mentioned something about injecting fluid into the joint)…and it was good he wasn’t planning on working (***), because it took a full day before his shoulder started to feel normal & usable. We’re still waiting for results from the MRI. Day 2…answered prayer.

The first Kid Connection after Christmas went much smoother than I expected (***). We only had about 20 kids, so smaller than normal, but it went well. It was very nice to know the routine & how things worked…but I was still expecting it to be more hectic…and it wasn’t thanks to those who were praying! Another answer to prayer was having some extra helpers (***) as well as a possible third teacher (***)! Day 3…answered prayer.

Ben’s eye surgery went well (***)…it’s been a lot easier for him this time because they were only doing one eye, so at least he can see out of one eye (***). It has been a long time it seems since we had time to really talk…with no kids…God is faithful…we had a WONDERFUL talk on our way home from Calgary Thursday night (***). Day 4…answered prayer.

Ben started getting a cold Thursday morning before we left for the surgery. It appeared to be just another cold, but early Friday morning his ears started hurting. Just after lunch his right ear started oozing fluid…at first kind of orangey, then pinkish, then reddish. I called health link & they said he should go in to the ER to get it checked right away…not to wait till morning. Because of the meds he’s on for the eye, he can’t drive so my dad came over to stay with the kids (***) & I took him. I have NEVER been in & out of the ER as fast as we were last night (***)!! Ben’s right eardrum had burst…quite badly. It’s bad enough that the doctor wants Ben to make an appt with his doctor in a week to make sure it’s healing properly. The left one is still really pressured so hopefully it doesn’t burst too. With all that going on, the eye thing has seemed pretty minor this time around (***). Day 5…answered prayer.

One thing that I didn’t mention specifically in my prayer request was work. As of this past Thursday we have no work. We had thought we’d be just fine…had jobs coming up. Then contractors starting calling & postponing jobs till spring. We’re left with only one potential job for the winter & we don’t know if or when it’ll happen. It’s pretty stressful…especially for Ben…not only is he trying to provide for our family…food, bills, house, etc…but we have business payments & bills to worry about too. Ben decided to call a friend that we did a foundation for this fall to see if he wanted help putting up his shop. He called Ben back yesterday & said he’ll hire Ben & Jonny (our employee) for a month (***) & if it’s going well then he’ll do another 2 months (which should put us to where we’d have work again) (***). The coolest part of the call though was when the friend said, “you must have been praying for work, because I’ve been praying for someone to help me with the shop”…..woohooo, it’s a God thing (***)!!! Very cool confirmation for us…probably me especially…because it still does leave uncertainty, we still won’t make enough to cover all the business bills…but if this is where God wants us right now, then He’ll take care of the rest! Day 5…more answered prayer.

All in all…not once this week did I get that feeling of being so overwhelmed…Thank you Jesus!...Thank you for each one who prayed for us!!!

A few things that we’re continuing to lift up in prayer…we’d love it if you feel led to join us…
-that the results from Ben’s MRI would be conclusive & they’d be able to fix it easily with not too much time off
-that God would use me & the other teachers at Kid Connection to touch kids’ lives for Him…and their families!
-that Ben’s eye would heal up quickly
-that Ben’s ear would heal fully & the way it needs to so it doesn’t affect his hearing too much
-that we’d be able to get a job or 2 to supplement this hourly work so that we can pay the bills

Last Sunday Kent talked about James 1:2-12…vs.2-4 were such an encouragement to me! “Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have it’s perfect result, so that you may be perfect & complete lacking in nothing.” Wow Lord! Yes, we’re going through these trials, but you are producing endurance in us…making us one step closer to being perfect & complete! Amazing! I am so thankful for a God who loves me & cares for me enough to make me perfect & complete in Him!

I want to end with a prayer…a prayer that I received & was such a HUGE blessing to me. On Monday evening when I received all those emails this was among them…from a dear friend of mine who can’t be here right now, so this was the next best thingJ.

"Lord I lift up Ben and Heidi and the kids to you right now and ask for your incredible and irreplaceable peace to be upon them. You know their every need and you will provide for their every need. Lord I pray that you would grant them your perspective and bless them as they are trying to trust in you through this time that seems so uncertain. We know Lord that none of this is a surprise to you and indeed you have ordained this for them for this time and place, all this oh Lord has passed through your loving hands. We know that you have all the control and power, and our only job to praise you always, even in the storm. Lord bless Ben and Heidi and help them to rest in your everlasting arms of love. Lord I pray that you would calm Heidi's spirit, I pray that you would give her your peace and reminder that she only has to do today what you have placed before her. Your grace IS sufficient for today and tomorrow your mercies are new again. Praise you Father that you have told us we need not to fret or plan endlessly in our minds for the future, praise you that you are going to work all things for good. I pray that as Heidi begins to tackle all the things she has to do, schooling, kid connection, trips to the city etc. that you would place joy in her heart, for the joy of the Lord is our strength. I pray that you would help her to get the rest she needs so she has the strength and positive mindset to face the day. Grant her nights with sound sleep and the kids too. We praise you sweet Lord that you care deeply for us and thank you that you are guiding our every step. Keep our eyes fixed on you in Jesus name I pray"

The most wonderful part about this prayer is that God answered each & every one of these requests this week! Ben & I have had peace about work, his shoulder & his eye. Our needs have been met…it has felt amazingly easy (no it shouldn’t surprise me) to get through this crazy week. None of this was a surprise to our Father & He is using it all to bring us closer to Himself. I felt an amazing calm this week through all the craziness…& I was able to take it one day at a time…His grace IS sufficient!!! God did work things together for good! I did feel joy this week…something I don’t think I was expecting because of the craziness…once again I allowed myself to be surprised… Although we have had some sleepless nights because of Ben’s surgery, He gave us the joy & strength to face each day! I am reminded by each detail of this week, that Jesus was guiding every step! My prayer is that I will continue to remember what He has done for us…not to slip into the routine again & forget where He has brought us.

Please Jesus help me to remember & hang on to all you’ve done for us! Thank you Lord for your faithfulness!

Pictures!

I've been meaning to post pictures of my two dear friends & sisters in Christ:)

Ben's sister Cheri & I the day before they left for Norway:

Ben with his siblings when we celebrated Thanksgiving just before James & Cheri left:

Sheri Elliott & I 2 1/2 weeks before they left Sundre to start their journey to Mexico:

Thank you Jesus for wonderful friends...and thank you that I still have some friends left here!:)

Excitement...and frustration...

It’s been a rollercoaster couple of weeks! I’ve been really excitedabout next week. This week is our last full week of school before we break for Christmas. Next week we’ll do a few odds & ends, but it’ll be slowing down & starting to do fun stuff…baking, crafts, etc.

Then 2 days ago Ben’s truck died…well, not totally, but he couldn’t pull a trailer with it or he would have blown the transmission. When you do concrete for a living & can’t pull a trailer it may as well have died. Anyways, he got an appointment for it in Red Deer yesterday morning at 8am, hoping they’d be able to rebuild the transfer case ($1000-$2000) & save us having to buy a new one ($2500). So we all headed out bright & early so he could drop off the truck. We thought we should make the best of the trip so we stayed the day to finish up some Christmas shopping & get some groceries. We pulled up to the house last night a couple minutes before 6…Ben jumped out & the kids & I went straight to the church for Kid Connection…we didn’t get home till 9…7am-9pm…it was a long day! I was excited though because this was the last Kid Connection till January 14. I’ve been thoroughly enjoying it, but it’ll be nice to have a breakJ

To add to the stress, Ben & I have been fighting colds off & on for about a week & a half now. We’ll feel fine for a while & then all of a sudden feel miserable. Well, by the end of the day yesterday I felt miserable. I was overtired & singing at Kid Connection killed my throat. I woke up this morning feeling not much better, but got a bit better as the morning wore on.

My sister has started coming once a week to help me clean house…well, not so much to help me clean, but to help me teach the kids to clean. Those of you who have 3 or more kids, know that it’s very hard to instruct & keep 3 kids busy all at once! I think it’s really important for the kids to learn to help around the house, but if I can only teach one at a time then the other 2 are already off making a mess. We’ve got a really good system down & I’m loving it! The kids are figuring out their jobs…they’re having fun…and my house is getting clean! All that was to say that I cleaned house with my sister & the kids this morningJ

After feeding the kids a late lunch we headed out to pick up Ben from the job & go pick up his truck. Here’s where it got extra stressful. We’d already found out that no they couldn’t rebuild the transfer case…it would be nearly $2800…I was dealing with that. Then we found out that there had been a mistake in a bill that we wrote to a customer & now we might not get the money till end of next week. Problem…payday is Monday…that money was supposed to cover payroll. Definitely forcing me to say, “OK Lord, I don’t know how we’ll do this, but I know I just have to trust you”. Feeling better now…still don’t know how it’ll work out but God doesJ

Well, I feel like I just wrote a very hodge podge complaint book to you…I really didn’t mean it that way at all…I debated not posting it, but the whole reason I wrote is to give you a little window into our lives. So I will post this…and trust that you won’t think I’m a pessimistic whinerJ I am learning (slowly it seems) to give all my worries to God. My worrying isn’t going to change it any (except make it more stressful), so I may as well lower my blood pressure & leave it in his hands! Someday maybe I’ll learn to do that before I even start worrying about itJ

A busy week...

It’s been a really busy week around here! On Monday I headed off for my payday shopping trip…with no kids! It has been such a treat having Lane & Sheri living so close & so willing to keep the kids for me on short notice! I will definitely miss them (not just for the babysitting either! J). Speaking of that…we have less than a month left with them here…L…trying to use every opportunity we canJ.

Tuesday night Ben went to a Flames game with a bunch of guys from our church…and yes for those of you who were wondering…he was cheering for ColoradoJ Wednesday brought Kid Connection…the second last one till the new year! That’s hard to believe…but it will be a welcome break.

I just realized that I completely forgot to blog this…2 weeks ago, Ben brought home a deer for us! I’m very excited to have good meat in the freezer again! Anyways…it’s been hanging in the garage for nearly 2 weeks, so we decided we just had to do it…even if it was late. L So Wednesday night when Ben got home he started butchering…I got home from Kid Connection & got kids to bed…and a bit of clean up around the house. Then it was time for my part of the job…this is the 7^th time we’ve done this together I believe…so we have a system worked outJ Ben cuts all the meat off the bone & puts it in a bowl…then I sit & pick off any hair that’s left & cut it into smaller pieces…Ben takes the pieces & works his muscles to grind themJ Then it’s bagging it all & cleaning up! We ended up with about 30 lbs of meat…which will be gone much sooner than I’d like…but we’ll enjoy every bit! Finally done, we got to bed around 2:30 am…very tired!

Yesterday was a busy day too…my sister Trina came over to help me clean house & teach the kids to clean house. I’ve been wanting to get the kids doing more, but before they can do it you have to train them…but to train 3 at once is tricky to say the least. It worked really well with Trina! First everyone picked up all the toys…then I took 2 kids to start on bathrooms (they rotate doing tub, sink, & toilet)…Trina took the 3^rd kid to their bedroom (Benjamin did our room) to vacuum & mop the floor…then they switched. Then Trina & I vacuumed & mopped the rest of the house & I dusted a little. It was all done in 3 hours! I was very pleased with how cheerfully the kids worked…and how clean my house was!

Yesterday evening I had a Norwex party here. I’ve always hated home parties…but when a friend of mine told me about Norwex I thought I’d go to a party & find out what it was about. (My aunt had told me about it a while back so I had a wee bit of info, but without hearing the whole presentation was pretty skeptical.) I was completely sold! I’m super excitedJ…but if you want to know more you’ll have to talk to me! Anyway, my party went really well…I was able to get a lot more free stuff than I expected, which is always a bonus! It was fun just to have people in my house! I’ve always loved hosting & having people in my home, but since we moved into this house I’ve found it really hard to do because it’s so small.

Tonight we’re having the Elliott kids over for a sleepover! My kids are sooooo excited! They’ve never had a sleepover before, so this is extra special. Tomorrow Benjamin has a hockey game in Torrington…kind of strange…last year they only planned one game at the end of the year…and now we have to travel (he’s on the same team)…ah well…I’m sure he’ll have a blast! So that’s our busy week! Sunday will be a wonderful quiet day at homeJ…& looking forward to next week not being as busy!

Amazing Weekend

I had such an amazing weekend away!!! The retreat was advertised as a time to do whatever you wanted…nothing planned. I was super excited about that…so I didn’t feel like I had to scrapbook, or do anything specific, I could just go by what I felt like. I thought about inviting a friend to go with me, but didn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings if I deserted them to be by myselfJ

When I arrived on Friday night I was a bit discouraged because it seemed like everyone was scrapbooking or doing crafty things of some sort…I thought maybe I’d misunderstood the purpose of the weekend. It turns out it really didn’t matter what they were all doing. I spent a little time on Friday night going through some pictures I need to scrapbook & then headed to my room. I enjoyed a quiet shower & some reading time before bed.

On Saturday morning as soon as breakfast was done I went to my room…and didn’t come out till lunch timeJ I thoroughly enjoyed reading, writing some letters, & just having time to think some things through. After lunch I spent a bit more time looking through scrapbook stuff & then went back to my room. I went for a bit of a walk before supper & took some pictures…it was so nice outside! After supper I sat around & visited a bit while I worked on the kids’ journals.

Sunday morning was about the same…breakfast & then hide away in my room…then I decided to pack up my stuff & clean out the room before everyone was filling the hallways so I did that…and in the process realized it was REALLY nice outside…so I headed outside to work on catching up the kids journals some more…could have sat out there for a long time! Pretty much right after lunch it was time to head home.

I felt like a different woman than the one who arrived on Friday! Yes, it was nice to be around other women…but most of all I needed time alone! God knew that & was taking care of meJ Thanks Lord for the amazing time of refreshment & relaxation!

Entering the blogging world

Well, I have entered the blogging world. I have to admit when so many people started blogging, I didn't get what the big deal was. I admired many people for sharing their hearts to so many people, but thought I could never do that. Then there were times I considered it...but no, I don't have the time. Well, here I am.

Since our kids were babies I've had journals where I like to write funny things they say, memorable quotes, special things we do together, firsts, etc. Benjamin's book has a lot written in it...Amanda's has a bit anyways...and Kirby's...well...it's pretty bare. I just don't have the time to sit & write in their books individually...but it really bugs me that those memories are going left unrecorded. So here I am.

I'll be up front now & say don't expect a lot of pictures...at least not right now. With the number of pictures I take (many of you know:)) it's a big job just to go through & pick just a couple to post (the fact that I'm very indecisive doesn't help). Maybe someday I'll catch up enough to be able to do that...for now I'm going to focus on just writing down some of our memories...because I want to have that for our kids when they're older. If you'd like to walk along with us, feel free:)